Rhonda
Have you ever thought much about the way you sign your name…the flow of the letters, what the figures are that form your name, or how your teacher or parent taught you to craft them in a certain way? My 3 year old granddaughter is learning the letters of the alphabet in preschool. Each week she brings home a sheet with a new letter…she proudly shows us the picture she colored of a ball and says “ buh, buh, buh, B is for BALL!” We all laugh, clap and show her how proud we are that she is learning what the teacher is showing her each day. In much the same way, we all learned to write our ABC’s in school.
We took a lined tablet and the teacher drew those letters tediously for us at the top of the page. We copied what we saw, or what we THOUGHT we saw. Some of the letters were crooked like ancient hieroglyphics and pretty messy. But as we practiced and perfected, the letters became an exact match to our teacher’s letters. Then one day, we learned the most important thing taught in school. We learned how to write our own name. And we suddenly had something that we could be identified with and recognized by. It was a monumental accomplishment.
Have you ever thought much about your signature? There are all different ways we identify, personalize, and express ourselves, and our signature is one of the first. We learn the “right” way, then we may try our hand at spicing it up a bit. Little circles for the dots over the I’s, or we write the first letter, then flourish the rest ending up with something unreadable. We might print an odd mix of capitals and lowercase letters, or sign in a way that looks like a real work of art.
Everything you do in life bears your personal signature. Each action you take – the way you complete every task, each work assignment, a cherished craft project, or your choice in a marital or parental instance to step up, or step back– is a reflection of you. It is identifiable, and others know you by the way you “sign your name” to your life moments.
Take a moment and sign your name on a blank piece of paper. Now look at it … ponder it … consider it carefully. What does your signature stand for? What kind of work does it represent? What reputation comes with it? Who does it say you really are? Make it meaningful – because your signature is attached to everything you do, and are.
It’s my next to last night at the beach. I had felt a need to get away alone, reflect, write a bit, think some, regroup mostly. And the trip has been a wonderful opportunity for this, along with enjoying near perfect weather, meeting a few new friends, and getting some use out of my Kindle.
I meandered out of the condo about 7 and headed toward a local Mexican restaurant where I planned to sit and read the Kindle, people watch, and have dinner and one of their nice margaritas. But instead, at the last minute before my turn, I thought “Chinese buffet sounds a little better.” I had planned all week to go tonight to the Mexican place, so it was kinda funkily weird for me to change my mind at the last minute, but isn’t that what vacay is all about?
I sat down to a yummy dinner which included some really great sushi and was thinking I had made a good choice. A few tables emptied out, some others filled in and across from me a 40ish woman and two pretty teen girls sat down to have what appeared to be a Girl’s Night Out together. I had finished my dinner and lingered over a small bowl of chocolate pudding for dessert and was making my way through the last of Cybill Shepherd’s book on the Kindle.
“I just…well…I am just confused…”. I heard this drift over from the girls’ table, and even though the voices were quiet and subdued I could hear enough to know one of the young girls wasn’t a daughter of the woman, but her daughter’s friend. She was in a relationship, and the words “sad”, and “breaking my heart”, and the reassurance of the daughter and mother “we will be there for you if you decide to break this off” piqued my interest. Something inside me remembered, and I felt a sudden sorrow for this young girl.
I sat absently peering at my Kindle, but not reading, for the next half hour as the mom, with much wisdom, told the girl that the boyfriend was controlling her, and using her affections for his own purposes and not for her good. I heard how the Christian boy talked about things that were important to her when they were alone, treated her well, said and did all the right things, made all the right promises “I am sorry, it won’t happen again, I know this isn’t what ‘we’ are supposed to be together”…but when they were in public he shunned and ignored her, and treated her as if she had no worth. This young girl with an aching voice told of several times that she was trampled on by this young man doing things or saying things that he knew were not edifying her or their relationship, but he felt he could get away with the bad behavior because she was a person with a “good heart” and forgiving. Then the mom and girls went over to the buffet and began to get seconds.
You know how you will deep down know you are supposed to speak, and you begin to fight with yourself saying ” I don’t know them, they will think I am crazy or nosy”. But the feeling is so strong, it rushes over you and your insides start swirling and tumbling as you feel like there is a universe-ordained moment that you will miss if you don’t choose to voice what thoughts are in your own mind?
I felt that moment. And I chose to share her tears.
I dug out my phone and looked up a website quickly, wrote it on a notepad, along with the verse of Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” And I waited for them to return.
I gathered my things, and when I was sure I could give the information and then bolt, I said ” excuse me”. All three looked up and for the first time I saw the girl’s face and my heart was torn out of my chest. Beautiful, blonde, cheerleader-type. Her words, even about this young man who was treating her cruelly were soft and kind and gentle sounding…but her face was worn with sadness, engrained with rivulets of tears that stained her tanned cheeks. I recognized that face…it had been my face, more than once, over the last 51 years.
“I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable but I couldn’t help overhearing some of what was said…” The mom said ” Oh, I am sorry, I talk so loudly.” But I stopped her…” No, you were very quiet and discreet…I am a mom, and moms have sensitive ears.” They all smiled, even the tear-stained girl for a brief moment. ” I just wanted to give you something…I have been where you are many times in my life, and I felt moved to give you something that helped me know how to make the hard decisions at times.”
I handed her my paper with the website for The Awakening by Sonny Carroll. I told her to get alone, read the poem and keep a copy with her and read it whenever she needed redirection. “In the middle of a relationship, it’s not always easy to see it for what it really is, and what it really isn’t”, I said. She teared up and said very quietly…”Did you have to leave someone you love even when you didn’t want to, because you knew it was better for yourself?” “I told her yes, more than once. She said ” How can you do that though, how do you know when to leave?”
I asked her to give me the paper back, and scribbled something on it and said “Keep this as a reminder, you will always do what is best for you if you look at it often.” I had written ” When is it time to go? When the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving.”
As I drove back to my condo…and the young girl crawled under her covers alone in her room tonight…I imagine once more…we shared each other’s tears.
William Shakespeare wrote “To thine own self be true.” Boy, the sage doth hitteth the nail on the head! I have found (more often than I wish to admit) that I have spent my life in juvenile “phases”…needing to be, act and look like everyone else in order to fit in. I have gone places I didn’t wish to go, with people I didn’t wish to be with, and ended up doing things I regretted…even if the regret was only the wasting of time with the aforementioned folks instead of doing something much more cool that I really wanted to do.
Ya know….an orchestra plays the same tune, but it is made up of all different instruments . God made some of us trombones, some of us tubas, and some cymbals. I tend to think I am kinda the loud clattering one. But He made us all to play together, yet do it in a unique way to make a unified sound and experience. So I’ve decided to let go of the status quo and just be me. I’ve decided I will speak truth to myself and then let myself be a little abnormal and unconventional at times. I have a feeling abnormal will be a lot less tiring…’cause pretending to be normal day after day is pretty darn exhausting.
The office buzzed with the voices of many visitors today. Our company was host to a “Grow Your Business” workshop, and the staff room was full of eager business owners all morning. Business coach, Robert Staub, introduced several business tools during his presentation, and many of us were excited about implementing new ideas in our customer relationships. One of the tools he touched on was completing 2-3 HVA’s a day….High Value Activities.
These are activities that end with measurable results, such as working on your website for 1 hour or making 3 phone calls on your prospect list. These are vital to a business owner that is serious about his company and its growth, because they are activities that add value to an already cherished investment.
More work followed at the office, then I scooted out to a bid and secured a new customer, ending the work day on a high note. Afterwards, I pulled up to my favorite neighborhood Mexican restaurant to have a nice dinner, relax and read a bit, and then head home. The restaurant was busy with activity…unusual for a Wednesday night.I was greeted by name at the door ( yeah, I go there a lot) and seated in my usual place out of the way of most foot traffic.
The waiter came back to the table with my order (yeah he knew what I usually order on my “reading” nights), and turned and left. I paid little attention since I was engrossed in my book, but when I looked up a few minutes later I noticed there was a small bowl of cheese dip and nothing else on the table….no chips, no complimentary salsa, no drink. Odd…but I waited for him to bring the rest of my order. Waitresses and waiters, including mine, scurried back and forth, continually passing my table, even looking my way and smiling, but never coming over to see if I needed anything, and looking away too quickly for me to get their attention. There was a table full of giggling teens across from me and each time the staff passed them the table got some kind of acknowledgment, a questioning after their needs, some kind of service. Further up from me, there was a young family that flagged the waitresses several times for napkins ( young kids), more drinks, replacement forks for those that found their way to the floor. Other tables were serviced well and often, and I waited, feeling totally forgotten after a period of time. Finally a waiter from another section of the restaurant passed my table as I looked up, I suppose, with a expression as if I had been abandoned by my peeps. He came over to me, and took a look at the table confused. “They have brought you no chips, and no drink?” I answered that they had not, and he said he would investigate the problem, walking away saying something under his breath in Spanish. By this time, I had been seated almost 20 minutes. Under normal circumstances, I would have made more of an issue, or at most left the restaurant and found another place to eat. But I knew this was the last night this restaurant would be open, and I wanted to eat there one last time. I knew the good service they had given in the past, the way I was made to feel important and valued, so the little annoyances this night were not immediately recognized. I was hoping to get what I had come to expect, and what I hoped for, and the promise I had been given on the first night I had joined the customer relationship with this little place. So I willingly waited for the issues to get solved, and the staff to get on track and give me again what they had promised when I walked through their door the first time.
As several minutes passed and there was no sign of my savior, and others continued to dismiss me, I began to have some odd feelings rise up in myself. I began to feel not only dismissed, but abandoned, and after a bit more time passed the abandonment turned into a feeling of devaluing and more than a small case of anger. All the past good history here was beginning to vanish in my mind as I started that head talk we all do….”why can’t they see me? Did I give them too difficult an order to fill? I did make it clear to them didn’t I? I mean, they did know for sure what I ordered,…well, yeah they had to, because they had asked ‘The usual?’ and I had said yes”…and on and on. Dumb stuff, but real.
The waiter came back with chips (keep in mind not MY waiter) and apologizes saying ” We have no salsa left, and the frozen drink machine is broken ma’am, can I get you something else?” I could tell by the look on his face, this was not a recent development…when I walked through the front door, there was no salsa and the frozen drink machine was broken…and they all knew what I was going to want. I was going to want ‘the usual”. And that was what they usually promised. But no one told me they could not deliver that this night, hoping I would just accept whatever they had to offer me. I was really miffed now. Why didn’t they just own up they did not have what I would expect, what had been promised before on every other visit, and give me the option to go elsewhere to get what I needed and wanted? I felt oddly used.
I told him to get my waiter to bring me a diet coke.
Another 30 minutes passed, and I realized that although I was a valued customer in my own perception, I was starting to doubt my value to the wait staff. I was becoming part of the scenery, blending into the background, and was being taken for granted. I also knew if I was going to get any service at all, the service that I was promised, had come to expect and deserved, I would have to get someone’s attention somehow. By this time I was pretty insulted by their treatment and lack of interest after my needs. So, I slowly closed my book, put my purse on my arm, got out of my seat and just stood by my booth and waited for someone to notice me.
Almost immediately three of the wait staff came from their respective corners, asking after my needs, flying back to the kitchen, and within 3 minutes I had substitute items brought to me in an attempt to restore my relationship with them. I ate dinner, finished a chapter of my book, paid my bill without a tip, and left the restaurant for the last time. The good feelings about the little place faded very quickly…I received a half-hearted attempt to fulfill their original promise to me as a customer, and this will be the memory I leave them with…non-stellar and forgettable.
I thought about this on the way home as I passed through my dark, quiet neighborhood. I was still having a hard time shaking the feelings of neglect and dismissal by people I barely knew…but why? I suddenly remembered a Bible verse in James that says “if you see a sister or brother that is poor and lacking in daily food and we say to them ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled’, then what good is that?”
And my thoughts went further…
How many times do we pass by those we know are in need for the most basic of life’s promises…shelter, food, clothing…and we divert our eyes, or hope someone else will answer their plea? How many people in our close circle of relationships did we make promises to long ago but somehow let those go by the wayside? We promised to love, cherish, care for them…but now we admonish them to “be warmed and filled” as we pass them by and dismiss their need for help because we are drowning in our own consuming issues? How many in our world go unnoticed, untouched, unloved, and unimportant to someone until they stand and say ” I will be ignored no longer”? And why does it take others, like the waiter that took care of my needs…. to notice, come alongside, embrace and value those that we should be rushing to heal, nurture and care for first? Or why do we take care of those who give us the most pay off, or make us look the best, but tell those closest to us to care for their own needs…and be filled?
We easily forget it is our privilege to serve those we love or see in need, but it is also a mandate. The empty cannot just go and be filled with food, or love, or value, or appreciation. Those in our circle become our HVA’s, in a way. When we highly value another, we give them the promise of rest, they know they are cherished, and the relationship we have will grow as we invest ourselves in others. Those in need should never have to stand up to our poor treatment for us to notice them…we should count it our privilege to come alongside and serve without being asked, as we place their interests above our own. And I can only imagine there will be many measurable results to follow, and all will be stellar and remembered as the relationships grow and are cherished by our simple acts.
One of the things I look forward to most this time of the year is our company staff party. The last several years I have made the event a brunch and fed the staff, then they went out to their day as usual. This year we decided to schedule lightly, have the party and brunch and then everyone was finished for the day, phones were closed down, and we could just visit some at our leisure. What a difference in the party atmosphere this year!
We laughed and talked, and some even tarried a little at the end before reluctantly leaving to go home or to some last minute shopping. In the type business we have, many of the personnel are on the jobs solo, or in small teams, and we don’t often have the luxury of getting to know each other. Two of the staff found out yesterday that they have relatives that live on the same Native Indian Reservation. We were able to find out about the children of three of our new hires, one tech shared her family’s struggle with her spouse’s cancer recovery, and another shared how God had blessed her husband with two jobs to replace the one he had lost this time last year.
This has been a year of many ups and downs for my family personally. Below is the letter I sent to my customers and friends. I have had so many touched by the events in our home and encouraged by something I penned here. May you possibly be blessed as well by the reading…the world becomes very small and intimate when someone chooses to open up and share their story. It’s a nice feeling.
From the desk of Rhonda:
It’s hard to imagine it is holiday time once again. The trees are going up, the decorations are hauled out of the attic, and the presents are slowly but surely appearing under our tree! Every day inches us closer to my very favorite holiday of the year when we celebrate the birth of the Savior and reflect on the moments of our year. 2010 was a year of many happenings at the Pressgrove house. Dwight came off the road as a truck driver at the end of 2009, and SirHandyman was reborn. Many customers, friends, and family members were so gracious in giving him work and he appreciated being able to serve them. My dad celebrated his 70th birthday, albeit in the hospital. He had a pacemaker for many years, and had been doing relatively well till the last couple of years. After a long diagnostic event it was determined he needed quad bypass surgery, which he went through well. We are all very thankful he has had a good recovery and is enjoying better health these days. My mom also suffered some unexplainable health issues this summer, and she has always been the healthier of the two parents. Through many months of agonizing tests, unsure results and even the possibility of cancer, she came through with a diagnosis that was much better than expected. She turned 70 this year as well, and looks remarkably young for her age…more like my sister. I am so thankful to still have both my parents with us as we enter a new year. My daughter Samantha still works for HMR as marketing manager and throughout this year was also cleaning on occasion. Her husband, Tracy, had lost his job in 2009 and they were spending the first part of this year recovering from that. I am so proud of my kids. They never asked for help and came back with flying colors on their own. Hardworking Tracy was blessed with a former position being reinstated, and he also has a second job that allows Sam to stay home again with 2 year old Lorelai. We are hoping their home, currently on the market, sells soon so they can move in down the street! Lorelai is a ball of fire and sunshine all at the same time. She calls me GiGi, I call her Sweet Pea, and her little voice is the sweetest sound I hear in a day. We had a scare with her this year also….a high fever brought on a febrile convulsion. There is no more helpless feeling than holding your grandchild while a paramedic looks on, waiting just like you for her to “wake up”. The Lord was gracious and she was virtually unscathed from the incident. She is saying all her ABC’s, knows her colors and many letters, and loves to sing just like her GiGi and Papaw (Dwight). One of her fave things to do at our house is play the piano and sing into the mics we have in our small recording studio. We must get her latest single recorded…”Jesus Loves Me This I know, For Dat Bible Tells Me Sooooo-o-o”. My stepdaughter, Katie had her second baby in the last few weeks. Cody is still in LeBonheur as of this writing and was born with the same serious health issue as his brother. Brendon, the older baby, is also still in LeBonheur, having turned a year old in July. He has never seen the outside of the hospital but is a smiling little sweetheart. Both babies are beautiful, and Brendon is taking his first tentative steps. We pray daily they will come home soon, but we know it is God’s timetable and not our own, so we continue to wait.
Help Me Rhonda had the most profitable year since opening its doors. This marked our 8th year in full time operation and we experienced many wonderful changes that have moved us toward serving our customers better and with more of a servant’s heart. We now occupy the entire center section of our building with 4 offices, a supply room and a recently added staff room. I thank God for this opportunity to serve Him through our work. I thank Him that we have been able to maintain an entirely debt-free business in a shaky economy. The loyalty of our family of customers has brought us through some years when industry peers have closed their doors, and for this, I am so grateful. I pray for each reader here to have the happiest of holidays, and may 2011 bring all the joy possible and the brightest of tomorrows.
Thanksgiving came and went, with little leftovers, except a slight case of indigestion from overeating. Dwight’s niece went into labor the following morning and tiny, beautiful Lily Marie was born. Sad part, baby’s grandmother had to stay home and miss the blessed event due to a case of pneumonia. She had posted on Facebook several times to her daughter as she was recuperating from the delivery. In her last post, she mentioned having a “tear” then said ” I will come by and see you tomorrow, even if it is only through a glass door.” I wonder how many of us woke up today and are in pretty much the same spot with our own lives. Days go by and life runs through our fingers like a stream of water from a faucet, we shed a tear here and there as we look at our life to be as if through a glass door.
We see what our life could be…we can almost reach out and touch it…the places we could be going, sights we could see, the things we could be doing, those we would maybe meet, the difference we could make…but it is only as if through a glass door.We feel something is blocking our way, keeping the things we desire the most, just out of our grasp. What is keeping us from the life we were meant to have? Is the glass door a difficult relationship that has lost its joy? Are we in a dead end job? Have we lost the motivation to dream the big dreams for ourselves? Are we stuck because too many changes must happen before the glass can be shattered for us? Or maybe we just need to just take a look at the door again…a door has a knob for a reason. And interestingly, the knob fits our own hand.
This is the week of one of my favorite holidays, Thanksgiving. It’s a time when family and friends get together and thank each other and the Lord for the bounty they have enjoyed. And it is a moment to remember with humility the reasons they have both people to celebrate with, and blessings to celebrate for. It has been a year of varied emotions and events at our home and in our family, and I was thinking about many things this morning while I pondered the holiday and wrote the staff a Thanksgiving memo.
I write random notes to the staff that we fondly call “Boss Lady Notes”, covering various topics and encouraging tidbits. This one was to thank them for being those who lift my life up and give me something as an employer that I can count on and enjoy in my own job as a CEO, and that is an assurance of a job well done. It was also written to remind them that although there are those who, from time to time, may fall short of their own expectations in their own lives, and there are days turning out less than ideal, there are also always reasons to be thankful if we only take the time to look and listen. I have included the memo below and hope it will encourage any of my readers here as well. May God richly bless you and yours this holiday season…
I’m Thankful for You
Thanksgiving is the appointed time
for focusing on the good in our lives.
In each of our days,
we can find small blessings,
but too often we overlook them,
choosing instead to spend our time
paying attention to our problems.
We give our energy
to those who cause us trouble
instead of to those who bring peace.
Starting now,
let’s each be on the lookout
for the bits of pleasure in each hour,
and appreciate the people who
bring love and light to everyone
who is blessed to know them.
You are one of those people.
On Thanksgiving,
I’m thankful for you.
Happy Thanksgiving!
This was a week of many ups and downs…events almost daily gave many moments of reflection and reasons to regroup. Grandson Cody Ryan unexpectedly entered the world on the first day of the week, 6 weeks early. Stress tests have been a regular part of the pregnancy because Cody has short bowel syndrome and is health-compromised.
He is doing well, but will have a long road ahead of him, as will his young parents. Cody’s big brother, Brendon, was the couple’s first child and is also dealing with the same condition. Brendon has never left the hospital and is now 15 months old…so both babies will be under special care in the same children’s hospital. My mother’s 70th birthday was the following day and it is amazing to think of her at that age. Mom has been through a period of some ill health this year, but she is so active and eternally young looking, it is hard to fathom she is not my age. My daughter, granddaughter and I took mom to a chinese buffet and then thrift stores and goofing off, and by the end of the day she was still fresh as a daisy. I hope I can grow up to be just like her.
On Monday, an office staff member left, giving no notice. Just packed up, sat her office keys on the file cabinet and walked out the door. No prior incidents, no problems with her behavior or work perfomance at all…then just…gone, to the great surprise of both myself and my operations manager. Similar incidents have happened in the past and I used to take it much more personally than I do these days. I can see, from talking to others in business, that this is a rampant problem with most businesses. The days of company loyalty and personal integrity are fast becoming a thing of the past. In the interest of not having to explain their actions, many will choose to “look bad” rather than just say ” I need a change, I need to move on”. And so I decided to look at it as a chance to move forward with new blood myself. Funny thing, I had not one but TWO applicants that want to work our front office and they contacted us within 24 hours of the walk out. God knows what He is doing, and if I really believe this, then I know the company’s best is always on His heart and mind, even more so than on mine. So we move on, excited about our future, and the possibilities. It’s the same with the birth of Cody or the gentle aging of my seemingly forever-young mom. Sometimes what seems to be a sad situation or a hard place in our lives comes along and we can choose to shut down and say ” I quit.” Or we can know that Someone bigger than us is in control. Someone kinder than us cares about where we are, and where we want to be. Someone wiser than us knows what we would miss if the hard times didn’t come in our lives. Today was our Thanksgiving celebration with my daughter’s family and as I looked around the room, I reflected on how much I have in my life that is good and wholesome and worthy of a peaceful smile. I am thankful most of all for the Someone in my life. I am so excited to see what is around that proverbial bend for my family, my company, and me personally. And I am thankful and oh, so grateful I am not travelling alone. And I am especially thankful that Someone never says ” I quit.”
What a busy week! We secured several new customers and somehow took care of the existing customers, even though we were short-handed due to some unexpected setbacks in staffing. Over the last several months, I have been formulating some CORE Values for my company. Today was their debut to the managers, and tomorrow’s staff meeting will see them introduced to the rest of the staff.
So many things in business and personal lives are so darned wishy-washy. What someone says they believe and adhere to today may be a total opposite of what they proclaim tomorrow. Situational ethics seems to be the norm and so many life decisions are based on whatever predicament someone may find themselves in at any given time. I remember a story in my teen years and the basic principle holds true even today.
A counselor at one of our church camp retreats was talking about peer pressure and how easy it is to make the wrong decision if you make a decision in a moment, rather than making a decision in your mind first. She talked about teen sex and it gave way to a lively, but actually interesting conversation between the teens. One was bold enough to ask the counselor if she had indeed made the decision ahead of time to save herself for marriage. The counselor had responded, “Yes but I also had a back up plan to assure my own abstinence and secure my decision.” Then she was asked by a second teen what that plan was. “Well, I carried a quarter in my pocket at all times on all dates.” Puzzled, the teen asked how a quarter was capable of keeping a teen abstinent when the boyfriend put pressure on the young girl in the heat of the moment. “When I started getting pressured, and felt myself starting to doubt my decision, I pulled out my quarter and handed it to my date. I said ‘Here’s a quarter…you call my Daddy and if he says it’s alright with him, then it’s alright with me.’ ”
You have to plan ahead to be successful at anything in this life and not let situational ethics prevail and make life-changing decisions for you. Putting down CORE Values on paper, whether in business or in personal life, puts some “be” in the beliefs you hold. Here are my company’s CORE Values. Hopefully they are what my company strives to live…and pretty much, with a slight change in wording here and there, what I can pull out of my pocket in my own life as I learn to “be” what I was created to be:
1.Deliver WOW Customer Service (or live with integrity)
2. Embrace Change and Practice Empowerment
3. Make it Fun and Spread Happiness
4. Be Creative, and Open-Minded
5. Pursue Growth and Learning
6.Promote Open and Honest Relationships
7.Build a Positive Team and Family Spirit
8.Respect Others and Their Ideas
9. Do More With Less
10. Be Humble and Display a Servant’s Heart
11. Be Passionate and Determined
12. Believe It is Always About Them, and Never About Us (me)
I had an ex-boyfriend once. When we began dating, things were nice and we got along and he gave me the attention and interest that I wanted and also deserved in a relationship. Once things got a little more serious, something kinda of “snapped” in his brain. He became overbearing and obsessive and the attention became something of a monitoring device, which didn’t go over really big with me. What was great, became rotten pretty fast, and needless to say that relationship went bye-bye. I remember one day toward the demise of the situation, I had gotten so fed up, I turned to him and said “You know, I cannot possibly miss you if you won’t GO AWAY.” Clever statement, I thought, in the moment. But it is an axiom that holds pretty true, kind of like the more common “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” This week my opps manager was out of the office on her last vacation of the year. And she was definitely missed.
I always appreciate her work, and the work of my other staff members, but I am pointedly reminded of their contribution when one of them is out of the office for any reason. I get to be them, (I do my best anyway), but this is a good thing for more reasons than appreciation. I am brought back in close touch with my customers and staff. It’s a good time to do their work, and maybe evaluate how certain programs or policies or procedures are working or no longer working for them and the company, and make plans to replace the things that are slowing us down. Sometimes a business owner and a company may look as if they are moving forward exactly right, when in fact they are headed down the wrong road, or headed at least in the wrong way toward a goal that is not their real goal at all. Many a complacent business owner wakes up one day and says ” how in the heck did I get here” and then they have to backtrack all the decisions and try and fix things, rather than keeping short accounts and changing things to support the ultimate goal and path as they go along.
Things did go well this week, and we were very busy. My young office manager displayed stellar performance although she was dealing with a sudden death in her family. Sad situation…her young cousin lost control of his car and lost his life. Odd thing, his flip flop was caught under the accelerator while his foot remained on top and continued to accelerate the car. He reached down to free the shoe, lost control, and the vehicle went off the road and hit a very small tree. He had no seat belt on, so he had nothing to stop him from bending down, from trying to free his shoe, from placing himself in the way of the tree that came crashing through the passenger’s side of the vehicle. I have thought about this several times this week. What if he had chosen a different type shoe? Did he forget that he had an emergency brake on the car? What if the seat belt had engaged and not allowed him to bend down? What if he had not been alone? Would the other person had been injured, or worse, because he had lost control? Or would the other person had been able to free his shoe for him… and the car…and the passengers…go home safely, with only stories of their misadventure? In relationships, business, and personal decisions, I realize a great need to wear the right “shoes”, wear a “seatbelt”, and have a “friend” along for the ride for my own safety and the safety of others. I must prepare to do the right things with the right methods (wear the right shoes), have self-discipline ( a seatbelt) in place to keep me in check, and have someone ( a friend or business associate) who holds me accountable but will go away from time to time to let me know the value of their friendship, advice, and relationship. We all need that, now don’t we?